Life’s stressors and issues can surely trigger development of impatience and intolerance in anyone. Have you found that you’re becoming more impatient with those around you? Would you consider yourself as someone with a short fuse? Do you get upset over the slightest of things?

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, it’s time to work on identifying techniques to tackle your disposition to impatience. There’s definitely nothing good that can come out of giving off that negative energy!

Here’s Your Starting Point

Using these tips can give you a jump-start in effectively dealing with your short fuse:

1. Identify the source. One of the crucial elements in developing a plan to tackle impatience and intolerance is to identify just what gets you in that state. Once you’ve been able to pinpoint that, answer the following questions:

• Why does it make you impatient or why are you intolerant in such an instance?
• Is there an alternate response you could give as opposed to impatience or intolerance?
• Could the outcome be more positive if you avoid that source altogether?

2. Be conscious of your responses and reactions. This is perhaps one of the most important steps to correcting how you deal with issues that cause you to lose patience. The more often you stop and acknowledge your flare up, the sooner you’ll be able to grab hold of it before things get out of hand.

3. Count to ten. As simple as this seems, it’s definitely very effective. Counting to ten gives you the opportunity to rethink your response. What you’ll find is that giving yourself a chance to “cool down” before responding will result in a more favorable outcome for you and any other party involved.

4. Recognize the impact on you. A firm bit of advice would be to stop and consider how your actions and reactions are affecting you. Impatience and intolerance often lead to issues with health, such as high blood pressure. Becoming conscious of what you could be doing to your body will help you fight the urge to respond negatively.

5. Recognize the impact on others. Apart from creating a stressful scenario for others that could possibly lead to health complications, have you ever thought about the emotional effects? Impatience and intolerance can lead you to make degrading, humiliating statements that could severely traumatize others.

• Spend some time contemplating the possible effects your actions have on others.
• Ask those around you how they feel when you display impatience and intolerance.

6. Meditate. Meditation can lead to a newfound calmness that could impact how you respond to the actions of others or challenges that typically cause you to lose patience. Introducing meditation to your daily routine will surely have positive effects.

• Listen to daily inspirational audio recordings that you can meditate on during the course of each day.
• Engage in deep meditation once a week while at home.
• Introduce soothing melodies and songs to your work and home environment that can change the mood in the air and subsequently impact you in a positive way.

Instinctively, you’ll want to display the negative responses you’re accustomed to displaying because it’s much easier than trying to contain them. It’s certainly an easier road to walk on, however, it is certainly not the most positive or beneficial road!

Reach deep within and find the urge and sincere desire to change how you respond to things that normally irritate you. Focus on these tips and allow yourself to learn more positive approaches one day at a time. You’ll be glad you did!

Tags: Anger

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We all get angry at times in our lives, but the people who learn to deal with their anger issues will be the most successful in life.

Anger management is really a matter of dealing with stressful situations in your life. When things happen to you that you feel are wrong or unfair, you get mad. You may act out or you may internalize it. It all depends on your personality. Neither one is good. You will either hurt someone else, either physically or emotionally, or you will hurt yourself physically or emotionally. Internalizing anger and not releasing it properly can lead to many different diseases.

There are some legitimate reasons to be angry or upset. For example if you are robbed or mugged, you will feel very bad or even that the world is out to get you. What you need to realize is that, most likely it is just a random event that could have happened to anyone. Unfortunately, in this kind of an extreme case, the after effects will last a while. If you can’t seem to deal with it on your own, you may want to seek the help of a trained psychologist to help you through.

For the typical person, it seems even normal everyday situations can get them angry. For example, one of your friends has an extra ticket to a rock concert and knows you are a fan of the group, but invites someone he works with instead of you. Instead of asking the person about it, you get angry at him and don’t return his calls or tell him you are busy every time he does. Often times, if you put yourself in the other persons shoes, you can figure out a reason they might have done what they did. Use your imagination and you will be surprised what you come up with. It can certainly make you feel better until you get to speak to that person, and it might even help you do so, wanting to hear what they have to say as compared to your own conclusions.

In the above example, perhaps the person at work that was invited wasn’t pulling his weight at the office and dumping some work on your friend that he should have been doing himself. Your friend was simply trying to have a better relationship with this person or get on his good side, hoping this would help with the work situation. If you think of it in this way, then you really can’t blame your friend for doing so.

Some other things you can do if little things get you upset are; taking a walk to clear your thinking and get away from the situation, beat a pillow with your fist to let go of your frustrations or writing your feelings down on paper, for your eyes only. These things may sound corny to some, especially if you are angry at the time, but they can help if you give them a try. You have nothing to lose, but your anger.

Remember, to take some deep breaths when you are angry and talk to the person you are angry with when you have calmed down a while. Most of the time you can work it out or get a reasonable explanation for the other persons actions. Communication can play a key role in anger management and dissolving situations fast.

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Anger is an impulsive outburst of emotion that often occurs without conscious thought. Normally, a mentally healthy person does not react as negatively as someone who is angry does because a mentally healthy person is able to control his emotions. He is able to think rationally; thus, it can be said that sometimes, anger is a sign of mental illness.

To make matters worse, anger can be destructive. If truth be told, it is in fact often times destructive. It causes harm not just to other people, but to properties, as well as to yourself. Road accidents happen sometimes because of anger. People hurt each other or even kill one another because of anger. Crimes of passion are also the result of severe anger. Sometimes, people inflict pain on themselves and others even commit suicide because of anger.

A person who is angry by and large suffers from high blood pressure, and nervous and muscular tension. There is also some degree of loss in the normal function of the different systems of your body. All these things can make you think of yourself in a rather negative way.

Anger is something that should not be taken lightly at all. As you can see, there is nothing good about being angry at all. Externally, there is a lot of damage done to others; internally, you suffer a great deal, too, because nobody in his right mind will rejoice in the feeling of being angry. You are not proud of the fact that you have hurt somebody.

Sometimes, after taking a long look at the situation, you wish you could have changed things but you know you can’t any more; instead, you lapse into a state of depression or worse, despair. The moment you despair, you lose hope, and from this you can see that being angry is no laughing matter indeed.

Anger is nothing else but a weakness of character. It means that you do not have what it takes to control your emotions. You allow yourself to be controlled instead of being the one controlling and taking the driver’s seat.

Anger should be checked because it is infectious. It has been written somewhere that a kind word can calm a situation, but an angry outburst can spark another negative reaction. Perhaps, it is human nature that you give the other person a dose of his own medicine, so to speak. Nonetheless, this only goes to show that such an outburst can only make matters worse.

If you are a parent, therefore, it is important that you know how to cope with anger, especially in the upbringing of your children. Normally, you would want your children to grow up in a peaceful environment and to develop enough self confidence and self-control so that they will be able to stand up on their own in the future.

A person who is in control of the situation and especially of himself is said to be in a state of good mental health, and naturally, you would not want anything less for your child or for yourself.

Tags: Anger, Good Health, Personal Growth, Self Help and Motivational

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It is often difficulty to maintain control of your impulses when others around us make us mad. It is even more difficult when the prices in the economy increases every year, and the legal and political system is constantly putting more demands on us everyday. Most of us deal with the stressors in life as they come our way, but some of us get out of control.

Management is often the solution for treating anger; however, the person must be willing to admit their actions are causing more problems. When a person acts out violently, verbally abusive, assault and so on it not only causes problem for the person out of control, it also causes problems for others. Often when a person has anger issues he or she will attack others whether physically or mentally.

The angered person will often attack in a way that belittles, humiliates, harms, or threatens another life. This person will need to learn to control his or her anger, since everyone around him or her is in a degree of danger, and sometimes more danger than others. Anger is the inability to restrain the impulses, desires and emotions. When a person is out of contact with his emotions, it often creates a chaotic mind.

When a person is threatened, it is always good to have a degree of anger to protect. However when a person does not have control then it can lead to trouble. Anger, sadness, joy and happy are all parts of out emotions, and when we have those emotions in control we often live a productive life. However, when we seem to a target of attack then it is more difficult for us to manage our life and anger.

For example, some children go to school and each day a bully will antagonize this child pushing him beyond his or her control. The child may hold his feelings in for a period, but eventually he or she is going to loose control, since none of us is willing to continue allowing someone to make our lives miserable. Unfortunately, when this child reaches his or her limits and returns the attack on the child, he then becomes the culprit and is often punished. The bully too many times gets away with his behavior, and once the victim takes action he or she is often punished.

The school personnel will often say why didn’t you tell me what was going on? However, the fact is the child most likely told the personnel and in my experiences, they rarely act. Now we have two children with anger problems and more people in trouble. This is only one of the many reasons why a person cultivates anger to a degree of explosion. Each time we are angry we feel it in our body and mind. Our body will often tense when we feel angry. If you feel this tension then it is time to step back and take control.

Why am I mad? Why do I feel this way? Asking yourself questions can help you find the answers if you search your mind hard enough. Usually after a person has developed a level of anger that is out of control, they will often strike out at persons even if there is no justifiable cause. The person could have moved something that belonged to that person and they will react by saying something like you stupid moron, why in the hell did you move my belongings? I cannot believe how stupid you are. Why do you bother breathing?

This is only a few examples of a verbal attack issued by an angered person. The person may attack physically by kicking, hitting, punching, spitting, or causing other types of harm to the person. It is important to get management in play if you have anger problems. If you cannot control your emotions then one day, someone will control them for you. Anger is good if you have it under control, but when you loose control, someone, someday will pay and that someone in many cases will be you as well as the trail of victims behind you.

Tags: Anger, Inner Peace, Personal Growth, Relationships

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At the end of the day, fear is usually the fundamental source of anger and it is more often than not the root of the problem when you have difficulty managing your anger, when you have issues of dealing with substance abuse or you are suffering with some kind of mental illness. When you eventually discover exactly how to overcome this fear you will be taking the first steps to gaining control of your anger, and therefore, the rest of your life.

The use of rational self-talk methods is one of the best known ways of dealing and coming to terms with fear. If you are the kind of person who is very negative in thoughts, forever settling for what will be will be, you will need to adopt a whole new attitude and do you know why? It’s because in the majority of cases, you can actually do something to prevent the happenings if you want to and if you really put your mind to it.

Thinking in a negative way gets you absolutely nowhere and can often increase the chances of you going over the top and exploding completely when your anger develops. When you refuse at any cost to see the positive side of things you are only showing how shallow in the mind you are and the constant belief that you are hopeless will ensure that your anger is allowed to rule you as a person and the associated problems will never cease to exist. For example, you have a few beers in a bar on a night out with some friend, and then you get in your car to drive home and during the journey you get pulled over by the police. In this instance, you are the one that has set yourself up to fail. Why didn’t you get a cab back or ask someone who had not been drinking alcohol to drive you home?

The best and only way forward is to change what you are able to change and leave alone what you cannot do anything about. Take each day as it comes. There really is no point in allowing eruptions of anger to take place for something that happened last week or last month. It has been and gone and you cannot do anything about it so let it go and concentrate on the next twenty four hours.

Learning to appreciate what you already have and what you do is much more important than stressing yourself about things which are out of your control. Each and every one of us has difficult decisions to make in life and this may sometimes also involve solving a problem as we go along. As long as you take the necessary steps the world will not fall apart so make sure you evaluate the problem with care.

Work out exactly what the problem involves, pull out all the stops in looking at the resources you have available to deal with the problem and then get on with it straight away. If you put it off it will only make matters worse. When the outcome is successful, give yourself a well earned pat on the back as a reward.

If the problem is not solved, this does not automatically make your life unlivable. It simply means the problem has to be further addressed. Life in general is full of ups and downs and we all have to deal with our share of problems. Try not to let your emotions get the better of you by allowing your anger to take over. Don’t forget, although fear is the root of anger and once mastered you will know you are on your way to victory, it is also healthy when used in a sensible manner. Sensible being the operative word.

Tags: Anger, Motivation, Personal Growth, Stress Management

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1. Is Fear and Anxiety at the Root of Your Procrastination?

Learning to cope with anger is extremely important, as anger is actually quite problematic. It is common for us – mortal beings – to blow our tops over some thing or the other in day-to-day situations. We often lose control of ourselves in testing times of pain, irritation, harassment, threat or ridicule. Anger is both a friend and foe for us. If managed properly, like in the case of someone threatening us, anger more often than not turns out to be our best friend.

Likewise, too much of aggression or complete loss of control in a fit of anger puts our opponent in a winning position. Success in all ventures and protection from harm are the results of holding the reins of our thoughts and emotions strongly. Such overall control helps us deal with all kinds of problems – financial as well as health-related. The confused state of fury is not only dangerous to our physical well-being, but also aggravates all our existing problems.

If one has to deal with anger, it indirectly means that he/she fails to notice other problems. At times, such a person refuses to admit to his mistakes. This denial actually is the underlying reason for the inability in overcoming the problems. One more reason is that ‘acceptance’ of the mistake does not find the requisite supporting force. The debate about diagnosis appears a never ending one, even for experts of Mental Health. These experts create a category in the name of diagnosis, and place the patient in an endless struggle.

This is not wise practice, as, for finding a solution to a problem, the ‘patient’ needs to know what exactly his/her problem really is. This can be termed as acceptance. Furthermore, the ‘patient’ is totally perplexed at the thought of having to undergo the ordeal of diagnosis, so that someone can pinpoint his/her problem. As it is, life is a vicious circle of problems, and the ‘patient’ is at a loss to figure out going-ons. Without the root of the problem, there is almost no cure. Certain forces or people trigger the emotion of anger, which keeps getting worse with time.

There is a limit to the levels of human endurance, beyond which the only choice left before a person is – to explode. Moreover, some kind of mental illness and/or excessive drinking of liquor or drugs give root to other problems. Though this is not necessarily the case with all people showing ‘anger’ symptoms, these other problems need a more immediate attention than anger itself. Similarly, a person with a mental illness may not be an alcoholic or a drug addict, and anger too has no relation with a mental illness.

The foundation of anger lies in the mind. Some past incident could be the cause of interruption of a person’s emotions. Something could have been wrongly taught in the early years of life. It is not easy to overcome emotions, which can actually make a person feel totally drained out. Hence, the ability to deal with emotions and feelings is the only way to combat the problem. You learn the art of self-control when you are persistent in your efforts of gaining control over situations, and enjoying a sense of accomplishment. For effectively dealing with your emotions, you can seek the help of someone whom you can trust completely.

In this way, you can control your emotions, and discover yourself. As the surroundings and functions affect your behavior patterns, only a positive environment help you master the art of self-control. Negative factors have negative effects on our habits as we advance in age; hence interaction with optimistic people can benefit our behavior. It is a fact that we have to deal with the process of functions.

Loss of control is inevitable in case body and mind do not function properly. Anger is aggravated by attitudes; implying that negative thinking will always have negative impacts. So, it is important to practice positive thinking to improve your life, enable you manage all your emotions, anger inclusive. Circumstances and persons involved are factors that help to cope with anger.

Tags: Anger, Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth

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Everyone needs to learn to cope with anger; having a fit of rage is counterproductive and causes, rather than solves problems. We learn how to process anger as we grow; unfortunately not everyone learns how to do this in a healthy manner. Despite your upbringing, you may have still never learned to appropriately cope with anger. For instance, take a child who is rarely praised but frequently punished. This child will very likely grow up to be an adult who ends up punishing his or herself when they make mistakes and has serious problems expressing or controlling anger.

However, most mistakes, even relatively serious ones have no long lasting impact on out lives; so it makes little sense to beat ourselves up over them. Instead, learn from your mistakes. By using positive thinking, you can get a handle on your anger. Anger can be useful when it is channeled into constructive action. However it can also be a powerful negative force in our lives. You can control your anger, or you can allow it to control you.

Control, or the lack of it is the cause of much anger. Learn to talk to yourself; this can be a useful strategy for managing anger. Take a little time out each day (say 15 minutes) to talk over things with yourself. Examine any negative feelings you have and try to figure out why you feel this way. Go over the positive things you do every day and give yourself a pat on the back. If you have made a mistake and are beating yourself up over it, take this time t put things in context. Remember that everyone makes mistakes from time to time.

If you find yourself getting angry at the drop of a hat; screaming, breaking things and so on think for a minute about this when you are taking things over with yourself. If you’ve broken things you’ll obviously need to clean it up. You will have accomplished nothing by this other than having had to take some extra time to clean up. You’ve wasted your time, your energy and likely your money to replace whatever you’ve smashed. You are upsetting yourself further when you scream and rant; this can contribute to health problems like hypertension. Just some things to think about.

Think about ways to deal positively with your anger. Step back for a second when you feel your anger about to take over. You’ll probably find you don’t really have cause to be so angry. However, if there’s a very good reason for you to be angry then think about a good way to use this anger. Remember that more flies are caught with honey…. If you are angry as a result of non stop stress, you then need a strategy for dealing with stress.

Make time for yourself to relax in your schedule. Prioritize your tasks throughout the day to get things done efficiently; this will lower your stress. Don’t procrastinate; this will lead to things piling up. Remember that you are not a superhuman being and you can’t do it all at once and you will make an occasional mistake.

Remind yourself that nothing is permanent. If you made a mistake, it will pass. If you set yourself up for a fall, don’t be surprised when that happens. If you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, stress will be the end result. Take a deep breath, calm down and take things a day at a time – this can help you to effectively cope with stress and anger.

Tags: Anger, Goals, Good Health, Personal Growth

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Emotional energy is drained by anger. Mayhem is played upon your body and your relationship can be shattered. Anger does nothing to help you or the people surrounding you.

Bitterness is more often than not a result of arguments, which are difficult to recover from. While allowances and forgiveness are something that people are willing to do, it is very often found very difficult to forget.

Incorrect wording or even the correct words spoken at the incorrect time or in the incorrect way can cause a vast amount of difficulties. The further in which you continue to apologize and say the wrong things in the wrong way, the greater trouble you may find yourself in.

Even if the truth is being said by yourself, if you are saying it in the wrong tone, or with a false facial expression, which may not be intentional, then it could well lead to another needless argument.

One way in which you can stop an argument, is to cease throwing fuel into the fire. It is always better to say nothing if you feel that you are becoming angry. An argument can effortlessly be stopped by simply deciding to not say anything more.

When continuing to argue, you begin to stop listening, which only makes the other person more angry. Walk away if necessary and give up your right to be right.

If arguments are something that you wish to avoid, then before opening your mouth, select your words more carefully and contemplate what the result of your words will be.

Learn to wait before you speak and attempt to find a way in which you can bring tranquility to the situation. If a certain person is angry with you, then attempt to give them a calm answer rather than speaking or shouting in the same tone and volume as they are. Peace will be added to the middle of the argument if you give a gentle answer.

If your feelings are hurt by someone, then it is simple to immediately lash out and hurt them, too. However, it is in actual fact more wise to let it go. It is sometimes a much better idea to ignore an insult.

This of course, is not to say that you should allow people to walk all over you. There will be times in your life when you need to come face to face with someone. When that time comes, find a way of saying exactly what needs to be said without making accusations. Once a person becomes on the defensive, they will seldom listen to anything that you have to say.

Take into consideration the fact that the blame may be partly on you. Sometimes admittance is all that is required. “I’m sorry” is very powerful. When you are prepared to admit that you may be the one that is in the wrong, then this can resolve the situation and result in reconciliation.

Attempt saying “I think I am right, but I could be wrong” the next time that you find yourself in an argument. By saying this you may avoid a malicious argument, and all that you are losing is a little pride.

Ultimately, attempt to stay clear of conversations where no one actually knows what they are talking about and everyone is arguing over nothing at all. I’m sure that we can all think of situations whereby no one is really fully aware of what they are talking about, even though they think that they do.

Is being right really worth the price?

Tags: Anger, Personal Growth, Stress Management, Wellness

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